the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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