What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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