tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
