Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
