I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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