As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
