The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
