Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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