I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
