Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
