I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
