I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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