For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize