I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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