STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He kissed a someone with a penis
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize