Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
