she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize