you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
