I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
