carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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