I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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