she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
