Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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