ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
