he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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