do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
