no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
