we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
