There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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