This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
