was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
