who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
