when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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