I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize