I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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