insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
