God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
