So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
