When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
