i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
