Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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