Kiss
Puke
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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