Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
