saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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