the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
