Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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