wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
