Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
