your room smells of hookers.
And success
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
