the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
