singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
