Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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