Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Bring me that man meat
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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