You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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