The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
