I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
