then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
