remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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