i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
