dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
